Not in the most obvious of places, but not in the deepest of
darkness either did I find him. I found him in a happy place, with a welcoming
smile on his face that said he understood me because he was just like me. We
were both broken in ways that no one understood, & we were both too strong
to admit it. We were both fragile in a way that made us vulnerable to breakage
even at the hint of a fall, & we were both too proud to admit it. But when
he smiled his smile at me, the same smile I’d been giving people for longer
than I remembered, I knew we weren’t all that different, & I knew we were
both too scared to admit it. & then started the longest of conversations, a
conversation that didn’t give much meaning to the words, a conversation that
made the hours go by in seconds, a conversation that made it all the more clear
that there was something more than that spark that the movies tell us about. But
then it was time to say goodbye, & as he turned to look at me from the departure
gate, his eyes held neither tears nor promises, but only a vague expression of
familiarity & the air of relief that you feel after you’ve met someone who
finally understands everything that you could never say.
& in that moment, that last gaze, that moment that was
meant to be goodbye, a line came to mind, “Some lives are linked through time.”
& after that, the goodbye held no meaning, the silence was bearable again.
The isolation was once again a happy place. The chaos finally made sense.
& that, ladies & gentlemen, is what I call love.
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