Twilight

I am as if walking through the twilight,
Of my mind and of my heart,
Of the things they both would believe.
The mind says you are lost forever,
The heart is but a romantic.
And I am torn, for there is
A fork as the river of my soul breaks to two.
One flow takes me back to you,
To the person I must have been in your eyes,
Though I feel that person is long forgotten.
The other takes me far away from you,
Where I might forget your face,
Your smile,
Your scent!
And though I would forget you,
As the waters of time would slowly,
Yet surely,
Erase you from memory,
But I would keep a part of you,
Somewhere in the crevices of my broken heart,
For pain forgotten is a lesson unlearnt.
And so, I tear my soul in half,
One to keep and move forward,
And one to send back in time,
For living in the now isn’t possible,
For a person, such as I,
Belonging to a past,
So unresolved,
So unkempt,
So unnervingly beautiful,
Yet so disruptively chaotic.

I Stand Defeated.

There are moments when you know you’ve lost, when you know you’ve been utterly defeated by someone with a much lower intellect than yours, by a person whose understanding of the cosmos is not even a minor percentage of that which you hold. But still, you have been defeated, by this meager creature. And to defeat you, they had no need for sophisticated weaponry or stealthy strategies, but the weapon that they chose to wield was none other than your own faith; your faith in that something bigger that you believe to exist in every man. We are all of us God’s own image, are we not? Are not our souls whispers of God’s own breath? Then why must we succumb to be such meager mortals, the lot of us? Why must we not struggle to be something of the divine? And this belied, my friend - the only, that each man might someday indeed be a God, that is the weapon that they wield against you. For men hold no desire in their hearts to be anything more than men, and that desire to be nothing but the ordinary is what drives our world to go round. You may believe otherwise, you may believe in strive for divinity, but on each turn, each step you will be proved wrong. You will be beaten down; you will stand defeated, as you stand now. But don’t let that drag your spirits down. For the only thing on which Sir Newton’s force does not work is the spirit. It is our spirit that holds the key to divinity – if only we can learn to set it free. So strive, my friend – my only, strive for divinity, for the Existence Extraordinaire. For every generation needs a Robert Frost to take the road less travelled by; every generation needs a Thoreau to keep pace with his own drummer; every generation needs a Whitman to contradict himself! So, go out there and be defeated and defeated once again, because after every defeat you may find yourself either marching to the crowd’s drummer or contradicting yourself even more. And that, my friend – my only, is a worthy risk after all.

Disney turned Me into A Romantic!

I’m a huge fan of animated movies. Spent my childhood watching Disney movies; Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, Lion Kings, Emperor’s New Groove – they all made me develop these great expectations from life. I had it in my head that wherever I would go, I would be the princess and people would sing and dance around me and there’d be a Prince Charming just waiting to set the world down at my feet. But well, you know what happened to me, it happened to all Disney fans, life kicked me in the gut and laughed it’s ass off.

But being the romantic that Disney movies made me, I’m pretty sure, still, that “Someday my Prince will come”!

So, when I recently watched Tangled again, and then came across a person selling flying lanterns today, I have been on toes from that point onwards, scouting the crowd for my Flynn Rider/Prince Charming.

If anyone bumps into him, please tell him where I live. The poor idiot might be stuck in a tree somewhere or, worse yet, he might be following Apple Maps. -__-