Love (Re)Defined

What happens when you fall in love? Is it all butterflies & rainbows? Is it all red & squishy? Or is it just a sham?

Well, I should know. I keep falling in love all the time. I think the first time I ever fell In love, & the only one that lasted really long, was when I was 8 years old & I heard the Backstreet Boys singing “All I Have To Give” on radio. I fell in love with Nick Carter that very moment. & that love story kept me warm & cozy all through junior & high school. Then I fell in love with George Clooney when I was in college. That was actually more of an admiration than love, but still, that is one hell of a guy. These days I’m in love with Jensen Ackles of the “Supernatural” fame. I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only one who is head over heels for that guy, but I’m willing to wrestle for him.

Some of you might call this hero worship, but I’m telling you, I’m still quite the sucker for a Nick Carter poster/photo. I’d plaster my walls with that blue-eyed, smoky smile. But I doubt my room-mate would like it.

But on a serious note, love, the true kind, isn’t butterflies & rainbows at all. There’s nothing like what happens in the movies. It’s actually nothing sudden at all.

Love is actually a feeling that grows on you, like fungus grows on bread, slow & permanent. It doesn’t happen in a moment. It happens after months of spending every memorable moment with a person. It happens after finding the other person at their worst & helping them back to their best. It happens after volumes of private jokes. It happens when you cross the line between waiting for them to answer your question to knowing the answer even before the question is raised.

Love isn’t something you can claim happened to you in first glance. They’re damn right when they say love is when you know the worst of a person & yet are willing to accept them, flaws et al.

Love isn’t only about the roses or the candle-lit dinners. It’s about the fights, the tears, the hollow goodbyes. Love isn’t only about the trust & all the truthfulness. It’s about the doubts, the fears & the little lies you tell just to keep everyone happy. Humor me here, love indeed is a paradox. But those who know love know I’m right.

Love is about making memories, together. Love is about fun, games & a little bit of tragedy to keep it young. Love is about life & appreciating its details.

Disclaimer: All opinions shared above are objective & will be subject to no more discussion. xD

Got Faith?

Having loads of time on your hands is never really a good thing. For lack of a better option you start exploring you mind, your own self. Honestly speaking, that never really led me to anything good except for even more troubling questions.

These days, having too much time on my hands, the only question that really troubles me is, (… Wait for it… Here it comes… *drum roll*) “What exactly is faith?”

Here’s my take on the subject:

See, every religion, every culture has their own ideas about everything. But I’m going to look at this from a non-religious yet monotheistic point of view. Faith isn’t really about belonging to any religion, or reciting from scriptures. Faith is about belief; the belief that there’s something bigger than us, belief that someone out there is listening to our prayers, belief that someone out there loves us more than we love ourselves & He is going to protect us from harm.

Although I don’t pray a lot but I know God is listening when I pray, even though I keep whining that He’s not. I know that there is a lot that I can’t control, a lot that is beyond me.

I think our belief in God is not really only dictated by religion. I think that our belief in God is because we need to know that there is someone out there bigger than us, more knowing than us, more powerful than us, who can set right the wrongs that we can’t.

Faith is about believing that He can set right all the wrongs. Faith is about believing that whatever sufferings we might be going through we will be rewarded for them in the hereafter or compensated for them in this realm. Faith is about the certainty that our prayers are heard. Faith is about knowing that He is there even if we can’t see them with our own eyes.

Faith is not about not questioning, but about doubting everything & then erasing those doubts through analysis, research & learning. Faith is not about living secluded in the woods, but about getting to know God’s men & finding Him within ourselves.

Faith is about believing.

Humanity For Sale.

We live in an age where the value of human life is determined by the price of oil in the stock market.

We live in a time when revolution means killing your own country-men & blowing a bus full of innocent children in the name of Jihad.

We live in a time when women sell themselves to feed their children who later discard them as pieces of meat for their unjust ways.

We live in an age where everything; morality, ethic, soul, has a price.

We live in an age where even the Devil hides in fear of the animal man has become.

Bravo to us, the human race, the saviors, the messiahs, the heroes for sale.

We’re moving in circles here, making shotguns & hunting humanity, making nuclear bombs & then blowing our own up.

Pretty soon we’ll become cannibals again, but modern ones, eating human flesh but with silver forks & knives.

Bravo for us, the human race, the heroes for sale.

Will Write For Food

Well, not really, will write only for money. Not too much though. *Peace!*

Since I’m going to be completely free for an indefinite period of time, I’d like something to do. I’m pretty good at writing stuff & it’s the one thing I can do without having to leave the comforts of my room (or even my bed).

So if anyone you know needs something to be put down in words, or even a little help with anything of the sort, I’m willing to oblige. & it won’t cost too much either.

Things that you can definitely contact me for:

·         Articles.

·         Article re-writing

·         Content writing

·         Reviews

·         Creative writing (I’m good with a variety of topics!)

·         How To…s

·         Short academic papers/reports/essays

So if you need help, email me at saba.tahirs@yahoo.com. Quality work is a guarantee.

P.S. I’m not above & beyond writing love letters either, if any of you need any help with those. LOL.

Crazy Thing Called Love

I was bitten once, smitten once, by this crazy thing called love.

What a feeling it was!

It was;

As if I was a flower, gently touched by the breeze,

As if I was the horizon, falling into the great blue sea,

As if I was a bird, flying home across the sunset,

As if I was a sandy beach, romantically moonlit,

As if I was something more than I truly am, something more than just a soul in a sculpture of sand, something more than just a heart full of sin beating in a body of stone, something more than a bag of flesh & bone, something less cursed, a little more blessed, something more than a finite number of breaths, something more than cheap suits & wine, something more than mortal, something divine.

It was as if an angel had come down from Heaven & not only touched my soul but bonded with it; not only made me beautiful but human as well, since all mankind has become is an animal in disguise.

It was as if a thousand blue-horn butterflies fluttered in my wake, a million red roses lined my path, & at the end of that path, he stood, wearing his heart on his sleeve, bearing a question in his eyes.

& with his lips he uttered the words that, till now, resonate in my soul.

Indeed, I was bitten once, by this crazy thing called love.

& I cherish the sting, as a warrior cherishes his scars.

What a feeling it was!

What a feeling it is!

Life Has Been Good To Me.

Indeed! xD

Life has always been a little too much for me; a little too much happiness, a little too much tragedy, a little too much responsibility & a little too much revealing.

Maybe it’s also been a little too kind at times, a little too harsh at others.

But it’s surely been a little too demanding at times when I thought I didn’t have a lot to give, a little too much of a challenge right when I started doubting myself.

Life has always been a kind friend, a clever enemy. It has been sometimes unexplainably comforting, at times heart-breakingly hostile.

Then again life gave me lessons which were sometimes too hard to come by, sometimes too obvious to miss.

Life made me realize that sometimes I am a little too mean, sometimes a little too friendly, sometimes a little too confident, sometimes a little too doubtful.

Life also showed me that I was loved enough, cared for too much.

It also showed me that sometimes people might not agree with what I have to say, sometimes people might not even care, sometimes people might even hate me, but it’s all in a day’s work.

Life has been the kind of professor who forces you to stay up nights working on a paper & then throws it in the trash because you misspelled your name.

But life has been good to me.

& for that I’m grateful.

Writer's Immunity

Since I’ve had loads of time on my hands, I’ve been thinking. (Yea, I do that sometimes.)

Well, actually I’ve been watching a lot of Grey’s Anatomy & that’s what got me thinking. It’s all about surgeons & their love-lives. But the thing that got to me was the mention of the God-complex in a few episodes. They keep talking about how surgeons develop a slight God-complex after saving too many lives.

So it got me thinking. Almost every job has its perks. Every professional who is good in their field might be able prone to/dealing with God-complex. Except for one: Writers.

Doctors have the God-complex because they save lives. Engineers might have the God-complex because they are the building blocks of the concrete world. Architects might have the God-complex because they give the shape & meaning to everything that we see around us. Teachers might have the God-complex because they are the ones who condition all the great minds who later become doctors or engineers or architects. But writers may never have the God-complex.

Writers are the last people to even go to if you are a psychiatrist researching the God-complex. We don’t think of ourselves as God. God doesn’t write fiction! We’d have the God-complex if Hogwarts was real & farmers were growing vegetation on Mars.

Writers are crazy, sure. We spend hours on our word-processors, with the dictionary, reading what other people wrote. We’re always on a caffeine high, which makes us prone to do even crazier things. We talk gibberish most of the time, so people usually think we’re schizophrenics.

But we don’t have a God-complex for reasons mentioned hence forth:

1.       We always criticize ourselves, not even our most-acclaimed bestsellers are good enough for our ego. We do love our work, mind you. But it’s never really up there, never really feeds the ego. God, on the other hand, adores man, which is why he chooses to forgive even big sins in the basis of seeking forgiveness. & God does not have an ego.

2.       We praise worthy work done by other writers. People with a God-complex do not praise other’s works because they themselves are too amazing.

3.       We are sleepy, we need caffeine. God NEVER sleeps. Neither do people with the God-complex. They are all meticulous & hard working. & they rarely need caffeine since they have they are driven by sheer will power.

4.       Writers don’t really have a lot of will power. They have caffeine & a little too much tragedy in their lives or in the lives of people around them. Other people, the one’s who think they are God, don’t care much for tragedy. But writers, they thrive on tragedy. Tragedy is our driving force!

These are a few reasons why writers aren’t much of the God-complex type people.

& again, since I am a writer, I feel a very urgent need to bore people with what I’m thinking ALL… THE… TIME. Hence, the long essay why writers are least to be effected by the God-complex. You just SO hate me right now, don’t you?

Cheers! xoxo

I Pray for Such A World

Walking on water,

Running with the wind,

I dream of such freedom.

I pray for such a world.

Dancing with wolves,

Playing with fire,

I dream of such passion.

I pray for such a world.

Holding onto one's truth,

Living with complete faith,

I dream of such miracles.

I pray for such a world.

Soul-Mates & Fate's Injustices

Greek mythology the first humans were created with four arms, four legs and four eyes. They had two noses and two mouths and they terrified Zeus. He believed they had eminent powers and feared there would come a day when one would take his place as Ruler. To prevent such an incident from ever occurring, Zeus split each human in half and left them to wander aimlessly around the mortal world searching for their other half. This is the basis of the “soul-mate” search.

Now, I’m no believer in Greek or any other mythology. But there’s something that’s been itching in my mind for a very long time.

Maybe, just maybe, you’re never supposed to be with your soul-mate. Maybe the force between you would be too strong. Maybe even strong enough to mentally impair you or even effect your existence (I’m trying very hard to say “kill you” in mellower tones but I don’t think its working.). Maybe it’s just too big a deal for any of us to really handle.

Think about it, all the love stories (not counting children’s stories) that have survived end in death & despair. Romeo & Juliet both died, albeit it was all a misunderstanding. Qais, poor old chap, went Majnoon over Laila. Plus, movie buffs might remember how Hancock couldn’t be with his alien wife because if they stayed together it would slowly kill them both.

In my opinion there’s a difference between “love of my life” & “my soul-mate”. There are so many people who marry the love of their lives even though somewhere in their hearts they secretly know it’s not really their soul-mate they are marrying. & some people might not even have a choice really.

We have to face a reality here. Some of us might never really meet their soul-mates. Some of us might bump into them & ignore the tingly feeling in their stomach. Some of us might actually be able to spend time with their soul-mates, but an act of fate is sure to push them apart. (The cruelties of fate.*sigh*)

As for those, who do somehow manage to overcome the amazing power of love & actually get to spend a lifetime with their soul-mate, please let me know how you did it.

Me & The God Complex

Don’t you ever wonder where this life is really taking you?

We’ve all heard the “find your own path” lecture. But is everyone really cut out for it?

I know I’m not. I’m one of the many people who’ve contented themselves with thinking that they were born to lead & then go on ordering around everything that breathes.

But really, are there people who are born ONLY to follow, to live merely in servitude of people having higher intellect/masters of manipulation? Do “Igors” really exist in the world?

Maybe they do. Maybe it’s the quite people who used to sit at the back of the classrooms, never socialized in any activities, never talked to anyone for fear of becoming known, never actually existed outside their own little worlds.

Or maybe it’s the people who talked too much in class, who always knew everything, who were so proud of their intellectual ability that they never really learnt anything worthwhile & ended up being the sidekick instead of the hero.

Don’t you ever think who these people are? Isn’t the fact that there might be someone who can be easily intimidated by a single glare somewhat appealing? It is to me.

For me it means there one more person out there who can be forced into believing what I believe, forced into living the kind of life I chalk out for them, forced into thinking that I’m somehow better than them & worthy of more.

What they don’t realize is that I’m the same person. I have nothing more than what they have, except for a God-complex & an intimidating glare.

What they don’t realize is that I’m as scared as they are whenever I see a new face or am faced with a new challenge, but only I don’t cower & withdraw, rather laugh off the chills & do what all God-complex patients do; delegate.

What they don’t know is that I’m actually them, a little more insane but essentially the same.

I Remember.

I remember sleepy you with my open eyes.

I remember the man I thought you were.

I remember the wonder in your eyes.

I remember the feeling in your words.

I remember the smile that wouldn’t leave your lips.

I remember…

& yet, somehow, in the moments that followed,

You forgot who I was.

You forgot who I wanted to be.

You forgot all the things that I meant.

& you forgot that I still remembered.

I remember everything.

I remember all that you forgot.

I remember sleepy you with my open eyes.

Speak To Me

Speak to me of the colors,

The colors that the wind carries with it.

Speak to me of the thrill,

The thrill of getting up in the morning.

Speak to me of the silence,

The silence that creeps up before the storm.

Speak to me genius,

The genius that exists only in the eyes of children.

Speak to me of serenity,

The serenity which is felt in moments of utter chaos.

Speak to me of vagueness,

The vagueness that we all carry within us.

Speak to me of hope,

The hope that tomorrow is another day.

Or dare not speak to me at all.